i would like to start by saying i don’t care. i don’t care.i really don’t care.i don’t care about you or anything else. but i’d rather be honest so i won’t.
i am savanna and i do care. i care about most things. my general attitude may seem to be that i don’t care but i do-all to much. i would like to be honest with myself. i will attemt to in this blog.i will try at least. i am not even honest when i write in my dairy that no one reads. i tell my self lies so i’ll feel better about myself. i know that sounds weird. i try to get myself to believe them.i think so much that i can’t figure anything out. i care so much i can’t anymore. i don’t know if this makes sence. but you can think to the point of………….well confusion i guess. it is thinking to the point of realiseing you don’t really know anything. i do that daily, well i used to now i am a burn out. i guess i don’t think much at all any more . well maybe i do i don’t know.  i would only like to write about things i can be honest about.

i love my family. i love my life, for the most part. i jus turned 18. i live in denmark. i am not perfect-not close to it. i miss my family, most of the time. i do and have done stupid shit, like anyone else. i also do good things from time to time. my main goal is to be a good person. i am not organised. i am not good at school. i would like to be a good influence. sometimes i get people to bad things so i’ll feel better about myself. i never force anything on any one, only highly recomend. i want to be honest, with myself first of all. i want to do great things. i am bad at things i enjoy, and good at things i couldn’t care less about, sometimes. i would like to work on a ship. most people who know me say i should be a photographer. i am confused as a general state, i do, however, have moments of enlightenment. i am a shit speller. if i hae one place in the world it is East Cobb, that statement was not true-well it ws overexagrated. i love John Prine, if you don’t know who he is you probably wouldn’t appriate him (i am not normally harsh) but he has the best lyrics ever. i also love billy falcon, if you don’t know who he is you should find him. theres lots of shit in the worl, but why is shit such a negative thing. no one is wirth nothing. bad people make good people good. spiders eat flies. and that works to ways. if you’re having a shit day i’m sorry. it could always be worse. if it could be better its usually your own falut its not (well thats my case anyway). i am workingon self acceptance.i cry at weird times. sometimes i am determined sometimes i just want to sleep. like to be with other people most of the tme. sometimes i need to be alone. if you are lost enjoy it. i am talking a lot about myself. sometimes i do that others i can’t at all. sometime i find myself interesting, most of the time i thing i am dull. i feel stupid at school. i feel smart when i am alone, sometimes. i don’t feel comfortable in crowded spaces. i don’t like people breathing on me. i usually don’t like people to feel bad for me. i don’t like blaming things on other things then myself, don’t say it wasn’t my fault i feel better accepting that it was. i have a lot of guilt..well not really i just have  big coinence. i wonder about a lot of things and then i get confused about whats important. i would like to quit school. i know i can’t. i don’t like money, but i like to have it. money is a weird thing. i used to have an “issue” i couldn’t touch money at all and thats not possible so if i did i had to wash my hands for about two minutes with soap. but i mean i got over it, well it still can’t get anywhere near my mouth, most of the time. i don’t feel much strongly. i am not so constent, sometimes i care, sometimes i don’t. i don’t know if that makes sence, or if that was the right sence, since, cents. words confused me but i love them i love a lot of things that confuse me. actually i might enjoy being confused, sometimes. its always sometimes, i guess. well i guess it depends on the situation for the confusion thing. i think the only thing that would make me kill myself would be if i knew everything. that was not meant to be a depressing statement by the way. i am happy most of the time. i can’t help but show it. i like to smile, especailly at strangers, specailly at old ones and ones who smile back. i like the people around me to be happy. i am nice to people i don’t (or think i don’t) like. it’s because i’d rather see them happy then mad. people crying make me want to cry, but sometimes i laugh enstead. i don’t know why. i am the savage. oh one last thing,  jeg elsker min kæreste.

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